Looking back

When I was first diagnosed with MM, I just wanted to sleep all the time for several days. It was the only thing I could do that made it possible for me not to think about what was in my future. It seemed like every waking moment, I was thinking about MM. I was researching and reading. I bought several books on cancer. I woke up in the morning, and the first thing that came into my head was, “I have multiple myeloma.” I think this might be typical. Other women I’ve talked to have had the same experience. It’s evened out some now. I know the disease can be treated until relapse, and then you find something else that works and go on from there. People with MM can have a decent quality of life unless the side effects from treatement are debilitating. I’m trying to avoid that as much as possible. I’m trying to make the right choices, and hope that I don’t look back some day with regret, asking myself why I didn’t choose something else. I don’t know if that will happen or not. I’m not there yet.